Pat Tillman's mother puzzled, knows there's more to the story

By James Fuller
Published: 5/11/2008 12:05 AM

Mary Tillman sat down at Anderson's Bookstore in Naperville on Saturday with the best intentions of keeping the conversation light in honor of Mother's Day.

She began with memories of a teenage Pat Tillman scaling an elm tree in her yard, already bearing the muscles that would carry him to stardom in the NFL.

Years later, she'd catch herself smoking by that same elm tree, filled with grief and frustration over the loss of her son.

Pat Tillman's death in 2004 is perhaps the most publicized casualty of the war on terror. It's certainly one of the most scrutinized.

Mary Tillman's new book, "Boots on the Ground by Dusk," details her search to find out exactly how her son died.

On Saturday, she discussed the search in an hour of questions and answers with fans who labeled her a "soldier for truth."

Tillman knows all the names of the military investigators and elected leaders who've poked and prodded at the details of her son's death. She's sure there's more to the story than anyone has said on the record about her son being killed by friendly fire. She knows the answers go beyond breaches of protocol and incongruent stories.

"On every level, it's pretty clear that this was an attempt to dupe the public," Tillman said.

But Tillman said she's not just mad that she feels lied to. She's mad because she believes her son's honorable death was twisted in a dishonorable way to fuel popularity for an unpopular war.

What's less clear to her are the specific individuals she should target with her anger. Tillman has theories about who she would make wear a scarlet letter "L" for liar, but a frustrating lack of proof. The physical evidence is destroyed. There's no real paper trail anyone has found. There's no one coming forward to admit a wrong.

Mary Tillman still sticks to her beliefs because there are too many facts that just don't add up for her. She is a grieved mother with no closure. And now her book is a permanent documentation of all the reasons she believes Americans should feel just as deceived as she does.

"We weren't out for blood because he was killed by friendly fire," Tillman said. "And it's not because we can't get over it. That's not it. This was a huge deception, and it was a huge deception to all of us. This government lies to us all the time."

She accuses the Bush administration, and Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld and President Bush in particular, for directing a coverup.

And that's why the book is coming out now, just as that administration is on its way out.

"I'm relieved they're going to be gone, but it angers me that they're just going to slip away," Tillman said. "It really disturbs me that they're going to be walking away from this with no accountability whatsoever."

What sustains Mary Tillman may be her desire to restore all the honor to every part of her son's death. But she told the audience Saturday that what gets her through Mother's Day is an old e-mail sent from her sons Pat and Kevin while they were serving in the military on Mother's Day in 2003.

"Happy Mother's Day, ma," said Tillman, slightly choked up as she shared the letter with the audience Saturday. "Unfortunately we must apologize for our absence on this glorious occasion. However, know we are thinking of you. ... All is well, and please spend today reflecting on all the positives of the past and the bright future that lies ahead as opposed to worrying about us We love you, mom."